OK people, I know, I've been slacking on the posts. Slacking hard core. But I'm back now. So what story should I tell you this time? So many choices. And the sad part is, that's not an exaggeration.
How bout the teacher from the mountains?
I met this guy at a bar while he was in town with friends. He didn't live too far, and so we started talking. We got to know each other via text message etc. So we decided to hang out again. There was no way I was going to have him come out to my place. A) Never bring guys back to your place till it's serious. B) The small living quarters with a roommate isn't conducive to banging.
So I said I would make the almost hour drive out to his place. He said we could hang out and watch Twilight. And I'm pretty much down for any occasion to watch it. But that should've been first clue to what a tool he was.
While I was at the gas station he sent me a text asking ME to pick up juice and alcohol for drinks. This made me not happy. Not happy at ALL. I was the one making the drive, but he wanted ME to spend the money for shit. I hadn't even left town, so he had plenty of time to get it himself. I pretended like I never got the text and headed out.
The drive up the mountain seemed never ending. You know how when you don't know where you're going, the trip seems so much longer? Well, that was me. I just kept driving further and further up, and that drive, on a steep mountain, with snow on the side of road, in the dark, sucks hairy ass. I should've just turned around, the drive was stressing me out, I was still pissed about the drink thing, but the power of the penis was too much to overcome.
So I finally got there. And one of the first things he out of his mouth is to ask where the crap for cocktails were. Didn't make me any more glad I'd made the trip.
We get to the couch and start watching the movie. And he was WAY more knowledge of the movie that any man should admit to (the DVD was his btw). We start making out, right around the part when the sweet van slides through the parking lot and almost kills Bella.
He all of a sudden has this creeper status giggle. Every time we pull apart, he looks at me a gets this giggle. He doesn't open his mouth for it, but I can still hear it. It's hard to explain, but it was douche/creeper status.
Should've just gone home. But instead we went up stairs. And he took the movie up with him.
So we're in his bed, making out, with the movie started back up on the tv in his room. He pulls back and asks me "Do you like giving massages?"
"Yea I guess" was all I could say. He then gets up and goes to his closet and gets a shoebox FULL of lotions and oils. All I could think was "is this for real?" So he makes his selection and comes back to bed. But this time he lays on his stomach with his head at the foot of the bed. This is my que to get to work. And so I do.
As the massage progresses, more undergarments come off, and condom goes on. After I blow him of course.
The sex was just ok. His penis was average length but kind of thin, but it was alright, I guess. He finishes and after we lay there for a few minutes. I try to get things going again but this time with me on the receiving end of the massage and oral.
I actually verbalize that it's his turn and his reply was "I'm all sexed out." And pretends to go to sleep.
I get up and put my clothes back on, at this point he's suddenly awake and walks me to the door. I get in him car. PISSED. This guy was an dick from beginning to end. Once I get down the mountain I call my roommate to bitch. All she does is laugh. Which I get. My sex life is pretty much a joke.
For all the men that have come after and will come in the future. I won't be the first to hand out handies, massages, or anything. So blame this guy. And guys, when you're with a girl. Don't be cheap about the sexual favors. It works for everyone.
Until next time.